The Roads We Choose, and the Detours We're Inclined To Take

I guess one of the most hackneyed, overused and ridiculous things to say is, “I didn’t think life would end up this way.” Well, of course it didn’t end up like you planned it. That’s what living is. You pick the road you want to travel. You start your journey. Then a big 18-wheeler comes along and forces you down a detour you didn’t expect. Maybe you find your way back to the road of your choice. Or maybe that detour never leads back to your original path.

I say this as I sit in a very quiet house at 2:54 a.m. I got home about an hour ago, having played a gig in Charlotte tonight. I’m still awake, because Shelby should be fed in a few minutes and I’m just the man for the job.

Still, being awake at this lonely hour leads me down this line of thought…

I am not on the path I chose for myself.

At age 18 I decided I wanted to be a radio DJ. My thought was, “I’m a pretty good guitar player, but there aren’t too many job openings for rock star, so what other job in the music industry could I take?” I took the radio route.

The problem with radio…well, actually, there are a lot of problems with radio:

—The industry is shrinking. There just aren’t as many jobs as there once was.
—In order to really advance and really make good money, you’ve got to be willing to move. Nicole and I were into that at first. Then we weren’t into it as much. I ended up working at the same small station for eight years.
—Music radio these days is boring. I worked at a music station for a few months. It was the most boring job I’ve ever had. Play a song, run a liner, play a song, read from the script, repeat until a commercial break is scheduled.

So, I got out of radio, took a good job for the good benefits and here I am, right?

Nope. There’s another part of my life that keeps me awake and typing at 3 a.m.

I started playing in a band a couple of years out of college. It was a small band with a high school friend and surprisingly (neither of us realized this until I walked into the first practice) my cousin! Marble Alley is a good band that I still play with sometimes. Otis Redding and Wilson Pickett and all the blues you can handle. I really like playing a lot of that music.

Other opportunities arose though, and the need for money and more gigs led me to another band. Locked and Loaded was (and still is) a southern rock and country band. That was good music, too, though it wasn’t anything I listen to on a regular basis. Still, it was really fun to play with a bunch of really good guys, and extremely talented musicians.

But there came a time (January, 2008) that I looked at our schedule, saw one gig in February and another in May and realized that I was counting on money from gigs that weren’t there. I went searching.

It’s a longer story (and a good one, I’ll tell it sometime) about the path it took me to join SugarSmaX, but suffice it to say, that’s where I landed. It’s where I remain. And I’m happiest in this band.

Performing music with other people and getting paid takes some work and involves some late nights. At most bars, we’ll start playing at 10 p.m. and end at 2 a.m. Now, I’ve always been a night owl, but keep in mind, I’ve got a 40 hour work week, going 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Suddenly, on the weekend, I’m supposed to play on Fridays and Saturdays until 2 a.m., pack up the equipment, return home between 3:30 and 4 a.m. and work my sleep schedule back to normal by the time Monday morning rolls around?

Yep. That’s exactly what I’m supposed to do. I feel just as natural with my guitar strapped on as I do in my favorite pair of blue jeans. I’ve played in front of 5 people and I’ve played in front of 700, and as long as they’re getting into to it, I’ll take either one. (Though I would prefer the 700, obviously.)

I had written music and dabbled with some recording in Locked and Loaded, but we never really got that project off the ground — probably because I left the band. Still, SugarSmaX has been recording, I think the songs are really good, and I’m interested in what a record company might have to say about what we’ve gotten down.

So, do you get the irony? I’ve come full circle, from deciding that being a rock star wasn’t realistic and choosing another path, all the way back to recording music with the back-of-the-mind hope that there might be a little room in the rock star world after all.

Our recordings may never do a thing. We could sell the songs and have someone else record them. We could have a massive hit on our hands. There are lots of options and the worst one is that I’ll have some good recordings of some good musicians, including myself. I can pull it out and let the grandkids listen to it someday!

So that’s how I landed in front of a computer, early on a Sunday morning, typing out a few thoughts about the roads we choose and the detours we’re inclined to take.

Now. It’s late and the baby needs her food.


Mark