To Dave, A Tribute

Introduction:
For some people, music is in their blood, their DNA. It’s something they have to do and find a way to do it, no matter what. But that doesn’t mean those people don’t need support along the way. I’ve thanked my parents in this blog and my guitar teacher, who’s still active in the music world. My appreciation is unending.

This blog tells the story of another person who was responsible for opening my eyes and ears to a world of music, beyond what I would have found without help. This is a tribute.

Dave

I’ve been thinking a lot about an old friend lately. It was an unlikely friendship I had when I was in high school. It started because of music. It also ended when the musical connection ended. And music has been bringing the memories back.

Sometimes friendships just run their course, I suppose. But my friendship with Dave left a lasting impression on my personality, my humor and my music.

I was 16 or so when Dave and I met. I just realized that was half my life ago. I was trying to get a band going with a friend. Our first gig was at the friend’s church social – a truly auspicious start to our big rock and roll career, right?

We did three songs, all religious, but newer religious songs, sounding updated and even a little like a rock band. The crowd wanted more, but we only knew those three, so we did what any good up and coming band would do. We played them again. Yeah, we were destined for success.

Afterward, we were approached by a guy, short in stature, but long, it seemed, on musical knowledge. Dave’s family attended the same church and he came to the event because his mother wanted him to. (Or for the free food…whatever.) Dave was a DJ for local parties and weddings and owned all the requisite the equipment and hundreds of CD’s. We asked Dave if he knew of a singer for us. Dave said simply, “Yeah…me.”

Dave was a good singer and older than the rest of us. He was 25 at the time, 9 years older than me. And he was impressed when we had our first band practice. During a break, he was naming off songs, and I, the 16 year old guitar kid, knew how to play most of what he called out – classic rock songs that a 16 year old had no business knowing. Journey’s “Open Arms.” George Thorogood’s “One Bourbon, One Scotch One Beer.” Free’s “All Right Now.”

(Oh yeah. The band had obviously, very quickly, moved away from the religious music.)

It was through that musical connection that Dave and I became friends beyond the other band members. We drove to Winston-Salem to the used CD store, talking about music, making plans for the band and hanging out. We’d go to karaoke bars and criticize other singers. Dave could kill on “Desperado” and “Dust in the Wind.” I figured out that I could do a decent redneck rave-up on “Keep Your Hands to Yourself,” a song I’ve played or sung in the three bands I’ve been in.

For a time, I guess, Dave was my best friend. And he was older, so I got to ask his expert advice about girls (despite the fact that he was single), getting through the last couple of years of high school, music and a host of other things.

So why was Dave hanging out with someone so much younger? Well, he had a lot of time on his hands. Dave was a diabetic and, by his own admission, used to “drink like a fish.” It hurt him. Following a heart attack and open heart surgery, Dave went on disability. He had no job, not much to do, a steady—if meager—income and time to kill. Then his kidneys failed.

When I met Dave, he was on dialysis and always kept his beeper handy in case a match was found. He didn’t know how much longer he’d last on dialysis and didn’t expect to live past 30, either way. Eventually though, the beeper did go off and Dave got his third kidney. (They just left the two non-functional kidneys inside of him). Dave liked his scars. He felt they were earned and would show them off, if given the chance.

Unfortunately, the band was even less healthy. The drummer stopped showing up for practice at his own house. Then Dave’s family and the keyboard player’s family got into a dispute over the church they both attended. That got really nasty. I heard that one faction believed God was coming down in a flying saucer to take us all to Zion. Dave’s family was of the opinion that this was big pile of crap. The church split, and so did our keyboard player.

With the four-member band suddenly two members short, Dave and I talked about an acoustic act. We worked on it for a while but the idea eventually died out. We played with some other folks, some good friends, before Dave decided that he didn’t really want to do anything with music anymore. He found himself a girl. I had started college and there was a girl involved there, too. (I married her, actually). I guess the time for the friendship had just passed. We were headed in separate directions, and with the music gone, we didn’t have anything to talk about.

But the music, of course, remained. I learned a lot from Dave.

He was a huge fan of KISS. He had their entire collection. KISS was never a classy band, or a critically popular one. That didn’t matter to Dave. Performance and showmanship were king. He knew the words, owned the collector’s edition action figures and knew the band’s history. He also loved the song “Surrender” by Cheap Trick, probably as much for that line, “Rolling numbers, rock and rollin’, got my KISS records out….”

David lee Roth-era Van Halen also appealed to Dave’s sense of showmanship. As did Ted Nugent. He was a huge Rush fan. And Styx. He took me deeper into the Eagles catalog. Led Zepplin. CCR. Iron Maiden.

And then there was the best little boogie band you've ever heard. When Dave bought a new car, I think he was nearly as proud of the license plate, reading “Little Feat”.

Softer music sometimes worked for him, too, however. One of his favorite songs was “Leader of the Band” by Dan Fogleberg. In sharp contrast to the bombastic sounds of KISS and Van Halen, that sweet acoustic guitar plucked out a beautiful ode to a father.

There were hours spent listening to songs, talking about the songs, talking about the bands and finding new, cool things to hear. Those conversations are the reason I know who played in what band, and when. I can name every person that played in the Eagles and which albums they played on. Zep, Aerosmith, KISS and a host of other bands are part of the knowledge I carry in my head. Dave is a big part of the reason why I am the way I am.

But it wasn't just music. Dave’s sense of humor was pretty classic. He loved to change the words to songs. At the karaoke bar, every time someone would do Bob Seger’s “Turn the Page,” the words would change:

Original:
You walk into a restaurant
Strung out from the road
You can feel the eyes upon you
As you’re shaking off the cold…

Dave’s version:
You walk into a restaurant
Strung out from the drugs
You can feel the eyes upon you
As you’re shaking off the bugs…

One non-musical bit that stuck with me is something Dave used to do in restaurants. He would pick up a napkin, unravel it and wave it through the air. In a funny voice, he would say, “This is a model of the beautiful, nap-kan-fish. The nap-kan-fish has a serious of five peni…”

Those things come to mind often and always have. But I didn’t think about it much until recently, since I’ve been thinking a lot about Dave.

My band might be adding some new songs and I’ve seen a lot of those tunes that I first heard because of Dave showing up as possibilities. Including some KISS. And Cheap Trick’s “Surrender.”

I’ve also heard “Leader of the Band” three times in the last few weeks. Twice it’s played on the radio. I also heard it as Nicole and I were eating at a restaurant with friends. A really good guitarist and singer was playing 70’s light rock. That’s one of the songs he chose.

Nothing brings back memories like music.

It makes me happy that we might be playing some of those songs. Dave would definitely approve. I wish I could call him and talk about which songs to add. I’d love to bounce those ideas around with him. But I can’t.

Dave died last year. He was driving and had a massive heart attack. When the heart attack hit, Dave ran his car off the road, plowing into the fire station, and took out two stalls that house the fire trucks. It was a big story for a couple of days in the small town in which I grew up.

But even upon hearing that sad news, I had to chuckle at the way Dave went out. He was all of 5’3” and had a “little man” complex like you wouldn’t believe. In reaction to that, he never did anything small. That’s probably why that loud, showy rock and roll appealed to him so much. He went out with a bang nearly as loud as the rock and roll that was probably playing in his car when it happened. I hope it was a good song.

Dave didn't come to my wedding and I didn't go to his funeral. Honestly, I didn't think his death hit me that hard. But hearing and thinking of those songs have made me realize that maybe I just didn't have time to mourn. I'm mourning now.

And I hope some of those songs make it into the band’s set-list. (No pressure, band mates!) If so, I’ll be playing them as my own tribute to an old friend.

And if there is some sort of ever-after, and some way that Dave will know what’s happening back here in the world he left too soon, then I hope he’s looking down and smiling, throwing up devil horns, rocking along with my band. I don’t know if I believe that. But I hope it’s true.

To Dave.

15 Albums - A Facebook Reprint

This was one of those Facebook posts that was going around a while back. As you can tell, I really took to this one. There were supposed to be 15 albums listed. I have 17, because I couldn’t keep any of the following out of the list. The musical choices probably say a lot about me. I don’t know what that is, so feel free to enlighten me.

The request was for 15 albums that had "such a profound effect on you they sucked you in and took you over for days, weeks, months, years. These are the albums that you can use to identify time, places, people, and emotions. These are the albums that no matter what they were thought of musically shaped your world."

A lot of these albums, today, I consider cheesy. But I’m being honest. And don't lie, in the late 80’s and early 90’s you were listening to the same stuff. :)


1. Bon Jovi - Slippery When Wet - I remember hearing "Wanted Dead or Alive" at the pool one summer and thinking, "What was that. I need to hear that again." I was only 7 or 8 years old.

2. The Beatles - "Let It Be" was my introduction, but the "Greatest Hits 1967-1970" made the biggest impact. Staggering pieces of songwriting, bridging the gaps between classical, English pub songs, psychedelia, and rock. No style, form, or instrument was off-limits

3. Def Leppard - Hysteria - This was one of the first rock albums I owned. I remember the videos. Just very cool, very rock and roll. The lyrics didn't mean much and didn't have to. The guitar work was so produced and so slick. And the drummer only had ONE ARM! It hooked me at a young age.

4. Garth Brooks - Ropin' the Wind - It's something the whole family listened to before I was old enough to have some say in what we listened to. The songs were great, whether you like country or not. It was also the idea that country music could be fun. And loud. This was the second concert I saw live, and it was like a rock and roll show.

5. Aerosmith - Greatest Hits, Pump - I discovered these albums around the same time, via my cousin Marty. It was a great representation of the early years and the comeback years. Thirty years later, you can still rock, even harder? Okay, cool. Aerosmith is the American version of the Rolling Stones. But they're better. Better singer, better guitar players. You could argue that the Stones had better songs, but that's an opinion. My first concert was the Get A Grip tour.

6. The Black Crowes - Shake Your Moneymaker - I love Stones-influenced bands, much more than I actually like the Rolling Stones. Odd. The Black Crowes were young and vibrant and doing music that harkened back to a time about 30-35 years earlier. Chris Robinson has an incredible whisky-soaked voice and Rich Robinson's guitar was tuned to open chords - something that was alien to play, then frustrating, then very very cool.

7. Guns and Roses - Appetite for Destruction - I remember thinking, "this is music my parents might not want me to listen to. But I really want to hear it." I felt more of an impact from that album as time went on. I still learn from what Slash and Izzy did when it comes to having two guitars in one band. An amazing piece of musicianship, with anger from Axl that was raw and unfettered, unlike the over-produced posturing he gave on much of the Use Your Illlusion albums and Chinese Democracy. My band now plays "Sweet Child of Mine" every show and the audience always, always gets off on it.

8. Stevie Ray Vaughn and Double Trouble - Texas Flood - My first entre into the blues. That three chord progression, so very structured, with so much going on over top. An 8 or 12 bar blues makes me want to move. Then it makes me want to play. This led me down a totally different path, musically. In the end, I'll always be a blues based guitarist.

9. Jimi Hendrix - Are You Experienced? - I pulled this out of my Dad's record collection and realized what the next step from blues could be. I'm not a huge fan of the really stoned stuff. But the songs were and still are amazing. The ideas Jimi had remain staggering. He was simply on a different level.

10. AC/DC - Back in Black. Wow. More blues based guitar, but from a different direction. Guitar from heaven or hell. One way or the other, those riffs weren't created on this earthly plane. I eventually learned to play the entire album. Still can.

11. The Eagles - Greatest Hits Volume 1 - This is songwriting that is just staggering in it's beauty. We listened to this as a family when I was young. I rediscovered them as a teen and became a huge fan of the band, and can generally name which of the band's seven different members (over their entire career) were playing on which album. Harmonies. On my goodness, the harmonies. The songwriting. Lyrics that read like poetry and your buddy talking to you at the bar - at the same time! And of course, the Hotel California guitar solo may be the best of all time.

12. Jackson Browne - Practically an honorary member of the Eagles. He helped write Take It Easy and was part of the California sound. Again, the lyrics. Wow. Poetry and self-importance only surpassed by Bono and Springsteen. Still, it was spectacular and Jackson Brown's music always hit me closer to home than U2 or The Boss. Don't know why. It just did.

13. James Taylor - Greatest Hits Volume 1 - This is when I realized that wimp music was worth listening to. Much the same as the effect of the Eagles and Jackson Browne. But the stripped down nature of the guitar work was incredible. If you're by yourself (or with a girl) it's hard to go wrong here. The only problem--the music sounds far easier to play than it actually is. "Fire and Rain" and "Country Road" and "Something in the Way She Moves" all kill me.

14. Metallica - The Black Album - Suddenly, heavy metal had melodies and harmonies. And it suddenly made sense to me. I had liked "One" from "And Justice For All," but this entire album again turned me in a direction I hadn't considered. And I loved it. So very heavy. My favorite song off the album is still "Sad But True."

15. Pink Floyd - The Wall - I like "The Wall" a lot better than "Dark Side of the Moon." It feels deeper to me. I was also getting into it around the same time my English class was getting into the Expatriat poets--T.S. Eliot, etc. I liked them both a lot and saw a lot of crossover in subject matter. Again, so many levels. I can always go back and find something new.

16. Steely Dan - Best of - This is the first music I discoverd as a guitar player that I never tried to learn. I didn't see the point. It was perfect as it was. I would never be in a group that could pull it off, with the horns and keys and everything else that was going on. But I was still hooked through the nose on this album. These guys are the closest I'll ever get to really getting off on jazz.

17. Led Zeppelin – II - This is the first Led Zeppelin album I owned and loved. It has classic songs that are still played (or even over-played on the radio today. “Ramble On,” “Living, Lovin’ Maid,” “Heartbreaker,” and more. And possibly my favorite riff of all time is in Bring It On Home. It led to a love of the band and an appreciation of Jimmy Page’s influences. Their impact can’t be overstated.

Honorarble mentions: These are other albums I got hooked on that might not have rated all the time I put into the above.

Journey - Greatest Hits
Motley Crue - Dr. Feelgood
Janis Joplin - Greatest Hits
Soul Asylum - Grave Dancer's Union
Hootie and the Blowfish - Cracked Rearview and Fairweather Johnson
The Beach Boys - Greatest Hits (loved it as a kid)
The Refreshments - Fizzy, Fuzzy, Big and Buzzy - You know "Banditos". Trust me. Look up the lyrics.
Bare Naked Ladies (Greatest Hits)
Tesla - Greatest Hits

And of course, the trash rock like Warrant, Poison, and others taught me a lot of good guitar. Worth mentioning.